Bedtime Antics
by PerfectMisfit
Summary: "Ha'ri, tell me a scary story..." In which Hatori talks about vampires to get Momiji to sleep and Shigure cosplays. My pathetic attempt at humor.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket**

**I just finished watching the series, and I love the Mabudachi trio :D:D. They're awesome, especially Ayame and Hatori. Not that I hate Shigure or anything (:.**

**And this idea just sort of popped into my head, don't blame me if it sucks.**

**..x..**

Hatori Sohma is not the kind of person who gives up easily on a challenge, and Hatori Sohma has rarely ever felt like wanting to give up. Problems presented themselves to him and Hatori would tear each of them apart until he found a solution for them. Momiji had almost never, as a matter of fact posed as a problem to him, being the sweet, innocent kid who always stayed out of trouble, but even Momiji had to be troublesome just like most other children. Hatori didn't hate children, lord no. Sometimes they were simply difficult or hard to tolerate.

Such as now; It was twelve-thirty in the night, or rather morning and while Hatori learned to keep himself awake at odd hours of the night, given how little sleep he managed to get, he wasn't particularly happy about having to stay up this late just to get Momiji to sleep on the _one _night he was free. He had tried just about everything to get the hyper blonde to sleep, and so far, he decided that he might have had better luck with an insomniac. He had gotten Momiji to drink warm milk until the boy felt like a water balloon. He had recited Cinderella about four times to younger male and he had lost track how many times he had told him the story of Snow White - he probably knew it off by heart now. And yet, sleep mysteriously eluded the rabbit.

"Ne...Ha'ri, I still can't sleep..." Momiji whined, pulling his baby blue blanket up to his chin.

"Let me try this again," Hatori sighed, he eyelids drooping. "..._once upon a time in a distant land lived a wicked witch and her beautiful stepdaughter. Her stepdaughter was named Snow White, for she was a fair maiden, blessed with skin as pale as snow and as soft as silk..._"

Shigure who had long ago drifted off in the chair beside Momiji's bed was in an odd position; Hatori was ready to bet he'd wake up and complain of a backache. Shigure stirred as Hatori continued his recitation of _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs._

"Ah...Haa-san...at this rate you'll get Momiji to sleep when you're ninety..." Shigure groaned, sitting up in the chair and stretching knots out of his back.

"Mm," Momiji nodded. "fairy tales are boring Ha-ri!"

"I think that is the point of fairy tales; to bore you to sleep." Hatori mumbled to fifteen-year-old.

"Ne, Ha'ri...tell me a scary story." Momiji pleaded,wearing his best puppy-who-got-kicked face. "Please?"

"I don't know Momiji, you could have nightmares or-"

"Geez, Haa-san, it can't hurt...you aren't _scared _are you?" Shigure taunted.

"Of course not, I was concerned for Momiji-"

"Tell me the story Ha'ri!" Momiji interrupted.

And so with a huge sigh, Hatori began with much regret, the 'story'. He remembered Ayame telling it to him an Shigure when he was in his 'drama phase' as Hatori kindly put it; he'd probably broken the world's record for drilling the world's most terrible story into his head after repeating it one hundred and seventy seven times. Then again, after you hear a story one hundred and seventy seven times, even if you obssessed over it the first time, you could grow to despise it the on hundred and seventy seventh time, Hatori reflected. He wasnt a big fan of horror stories; not that he was scared, it was just that they struck him as stupid, plotless pieces of work.

"Okay," Hatori began. "Ayame told me this one when we were in high school." Momiji sat up and leaned against the headboard, eyes wide in eager anticipation.

"Oh no, not this." Shigure leaped up from his chair. "Everytime someone tells this story to another person, something awful happens. Everytime."

Shigure left the room immediately, leaving the dragon and the rabbit alone.

"_There once existed a maiden so fair and so ethereally beautiful, that men would kiss the ground she walked upon shamelessly. She had long raven locks along with emerald eyes that glistened like jewels. She went by Midori; just Midori. One man, craved her above all others and he was Akatsuki. Akatsuki was a dashing youth, one had to admit, but Midori never noticed him, never so much as even glanced at him. Akatsuki soon grew obssessed with Midori, so far as to referring to her as his 'Darling Midori'. He dreamt of her, he imagined her smile throughout the day. She captivated his every thought. She was the reason he ate, he breathed, he lived. He envisioned himself staring into the depths of her eyes and running his hands through her silky locks._

_But Midori hid one, terrible, terrible secret. She was a creature of the night who fed on human blood. One fine day, she happened to meet Akatsuki at the market. Akatsuki had resorted to stalking her, just so he could be close to her. She fell in love with him, as did most women. He proposed, they got married and they soon were to begin a happy married life. __But Midori required blood to live, and she could never drink Akatsuki's. She swore that her secret would never leave her lips; esentially, Akatsuki would never know of it. She feared that if he ever found out he would stop loving her, he might decide to leave her. And so, she grew sickly from being deprived of blood. Akatsuki worried and hovered by Midori's bedside, praying that something, something could restore colour in her, something could give her eyes back their glow, her lips their pink tint and cheerful smile._

_One night, Midori mustered enough strength to sneak out in the middle of the night. She would lure men towards her, tempt them viciously and then drink their blood to satisfy her never ending thirst. One night, Akatsuki followed her, as he nursed suspicions that she was cheating on him_." Momiji looked at Hatori, his eyes wide at the intense suspense.

"It would have been better if Midori had just told Akatsuki, right Ha'ri?"

"I suppose so."

_"Akatsuki saw her stroke a man cheek and then slowly drink his blood. He snuck back home, heartbroken and shattered knowing that his beloved Midori was no longer happy with him. He waited for her to return and stabbed her that night, purely out of rage. He hardly regretted his actions; in fact, he was so angry, that he crucified her to a door - one of his servants had caught him doing it and just to shut him up, Akatsuki strangled him and crucified him to the other side of the door. He had the door dismantled and burned down and spread word that he had caught the two of them together._

_Soon, Akatsuki fell in love and he was married to another woman when Spring came by. But he discovered, he couldn't live with this woman. Every night, he would see Midori's face instead of his second wife's, he would see the servant's face when he so much as glanced at his infant son. Midori haunted him, Midori captivated him even after death. One night it was all too much for him; he saw Midori's face, this time pleading to not be killed in place of his wife's and he strangled his wife mercilessly and abandoned his son. As he ran through the forests, running into trees and tripping over a million roots, all he could still see was Midori's face, rotting with sunken yellow eyes and mangled, coal-black hair. Her screams pierced the silence of the night and rang in his ears. And-"_

Hatori stopped abruptly, his eyes growing to the size of saucers in fear. "The ghost of Midori..." he whispered slowly.

"Ha'ri? Ha'ri?" Momiji frowned and turned back, only to glance upon the ugliest creature that probably existed. It, or perhaps she had hideous stands of scraggly grey hair, a face submerged under a tonne of wrinkles and two giant, white spheres without eyeballs that just stared. Momiji let out a shriek and dived under his covers, burying his face into the soft fabric of his sheets.

"Shigure, I think that's enough," Hatori reprimanded, looking over the now unconcious Momiji. Shigure grinned and pulled out the eggs he'd used for eyes and the broken mop he'd used as a wig.

"Gets them everytime," Shigure grinned, feeling very much awake and exhilerated. "Sorry I broke your mop."

"Tch. Just go back to sleep Shigure and don't ever tell anyone this happened."

"Oh Haa-san, don't worry so much...by the way, how about a repeat of Cinderella? I could do with-"

_Slam_. Hatori was gone.

Needless to say, neither of the three were particularly shocked when they woke up extremely late, red-eyed and tired. And the maids at the Sohma house have yet to solve the mystery of the broken mop and the two eggs that lay in one of the corridors.

-x-

Sorry if this was horrible. Review?


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